Hairy Ticks of Dune

There's only room enough in this stillsuit for one of us! ... Wait, come back!

Friday, May 25, 2007

The New, Improved Paul Atreides! Now 100% More Absorbant!

Oh, how do you mend
a broken hea-a-art?


Well, if you're the new Paul Atreides, you just set your mind to it and you can repair all the damaged cells.

And how can he do these things?

Because he IS the Kwisatz Haderach!


Just not the one Omnius wants. But why worry over the small details. These hack authors certainly don't!

Oh...and the best part? The part that will have the Brawny Man as green as the Jolly Green Giant with envy?

The way he can reabsorb all the blood that leaked out of the hole in his heart and onto the floor BACK into his body.

I've got a hole in my heart right now, too. And it bleeds for what these idiots have done to Dune.

Unforgivable.

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Thursday, May 24, 2007

Jonannah in da belly o' da...worm?

Just one of the interesting little tidbits that were revealed during DuneCon Mini:East 2007. (Why didn't you mention that one, ARCangel?)

What would you do to pass the time if you found yourself in the gullet of the behemoth?

Well...our girl decides to lie down and roll around in the spice essence juices. Gets herself right sopping.

Different strokes, I guess.

But dat be how da girl got da worm stank on her.

(People, I COULDN'T make this shit up if I tried.)

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Tuesday, May 22, 2007

DuneCon Mini:East 2007

Late notice for those of you who do not speak Japanese, but today (right now, in fact) is the start (and finish) of the first annual DuneCon Mini:East.

The turnout is much higher than expected, but there's still room, so if you're interested and in the Kanto "gray area", send me an email for directions: theorgan_izer@duneconminieast.com.

Sunday, May 13, 2007

Psssst! It's "Hoary" not "Hairy".

My other (thus far underutilized) blog, I mean.

It's "Hoary Tales of Dune", not "Hairy Tales of Dune".

NOT that the latter wouldn't work as well....

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Thursday, May 10, 2007

Pathological, I mean, medical phraseology?

That "PhD Dune scholar" we've been hearing about is, in fact, none other than good ole Dr. Attila Torkos, M.D., of the Otorhinolaryngology and Head-Neck Surgery Department of the University of Szeged, in the city of the same name in Hungary.

I have this straight from the horse's...mouth, as it were.

From: Kevin J Anderson
Date: May 10, 2007 7:56 PM
Subject: RE: RE: mysterious Omphalos
Body: ...

Is Dr. Torkos then the person you were referring to when you wrote "a PhD Dune scholar" in your answers to the email interview questions?

yes

I haven't yet been able to track down any biographical information on the Good Doctor, but it seems from some of the publication titles that I have been able to find that he is the real McCoy, an actual ENT specialist. Or at least, that he started out as one. Many of the fictional universe chronologies that he has prepared over the years are being hosted on his department's webserver, but I have yet to find an index page linking to them. No faculty info page for the Doctor, either.

I'm sorry—and this reflects in no way on Dr. Torkos or the work he has obviously put into his...hobby? new speciality?—but the way Kevin phrased this is just wrong. True, Dr. Torkos has a Ph.D. And true, he has obviously studied the Dune novels extensively. But I wouldn't put him in the same group of scholars as literature studies researchers like those listed recently by Omphalos on the DN BBS. His specialty isn't literature and he does not work exclusively on the Dune universe. To call him a "PhD Dune scholar" is a very pretty piece of obfuscation.

But then, by this point I expect nothing else.

(I needn't say "I told you so", do I?)

Impatient to be bored. Or...Continuing an Abomination?

I've finished transcribing the recording of Chapter 1 of Sandworms of Dune. Thank Dur it was only nine minutes!

"I am not a professional voice actor."


No...not even close. But at several points I was reminded of the rather over-the-top style often used by Japanese voice actors when they want to make sure the audience knows a foreigner is speaking, even though the words are in Japanese.

But this will look good on the ole CV, won't it?

Twenty-One Years After the Escape from Chapterhouse


That's two years after the beginning of the last part of Hunters. I'm surprised they didn't come right out and state that in the text. Dur knows they take such pains to make it clear WHEN we are otherwise. (The God Emperor's reign lasted 3,500 years after Muad'Dib. It's now 1,500 years, plus a few more, after that. And Duncan, "Eternal Duncan", doesn't look a day over...his age. But he's "concealing [it] well". The "dark, wiry hair" bit gives it away: Duncan's had a dye-and-do. Shades of Dirk Bogarde in Death in Venice! Eew. I guess it's a good thing Duncan had his "maritime collison" with Shee-Anna...else Tegzio might have to watch his ass.)

Oh, what to say about this? It's certainly an inauspcious beginning. And Kevin was right: the style hasn't changed. Of the 1,334 words, I wonder how much would remain if you edit out all the recap? Well, let's see.

First, let's get rid of the epigraph. Another piece of truly insipid filler that adds no information. (How can you really miss something you don't remember except second-hand?) Snip. Get rid of "wandering" as a modifier of the no-ship; we "no" that. Snip the reminder of Jessica's age...if we really care we can do the math ourselves. If you've been told that someone is a "Bene Gesserit Suk doctor", you don't need to be told a few lines later that that person is "female". Snip. Likewise "grown from preserved cells"; we know what a ghola is by now, thank you. Snip. A ghola that is "not itself yet" obviously doesn't have its memories or its pasts, so drop another filler sentence.

We've all read Dune...or we wouldn't be here reading this, right? Many have reread the novel in the last year. So we don't need to be told that Jessica and Paul were on the run, that the Duke was dead, that they took up with the Fremen, who were a desert tribe, how the first Alia came about. We get it, already, dammit. Slash. We remember (from Hunters) that the ghola Paul—remember, Jessica's son, but not the real one, because he's dead, remember?—is a year older than the ghola of his mother, that Paul and Chani had their groove thang on, that Leto II was the result. Snip, snip, snip. Why we have ghola babies in the first place? Snip.

I won't bore you with the rest. At the end, I got rid of 341 words, or about one fourth of the original. Not as high as I had hoped...er, I mean, expected, but still not insignificant.

Abominable


Probably the worst part of this (and this is just the first chapter?!) is that She-Anna has decided to bring back Alia. But Masta B and I have already touched on this one on comments on earlier posts, so why belabor it? Let's just rubberstamp this one with "WTF?!" and move on.

No, sorry, wait: the worst part is actually that they are also bringing back Serena Butler and Xavier Harkonnen. Oh, yeah, and Gurney Halleck. Nothing like another token FH character.

As I posted over on the DN BBS, I guess She-Anna got tired of playing hide-and-seek with Serena in her own OM. Gholas are much more manageable, obviously, than people-in-memory, I guess.

The Rabbi remains an over-the-top caricature of himself, Yueh is a wishy-washy sallow youth, blah blah blah.

And they get paid for this shite? There's something wrong with the world.

We interrupt our regularly scheduled pogrom!

It's here.

At last.

The long-awaited...(wait for it!)...audio file of Kevin J. Anderson reading the first chapter of Sandworms of Dune!

Hoo, boy.

Took a while to download (8.5 MB...or as KJA puts it 8500 KB), but WELL worth every millisecond. Oh yes, indeedy.

I'll be transcribing it this evening once I return to Sietch (that's pronounced "sitch" "sih-yetch", by the way, as in "What the f**k is these guy's sitch?!", not "seetch" or "see-ehtch") Tigr tonight. Since I don't want TORkyomada and the Spanish Inquisition coming after me, I won't be publishing any direct quotes, but do expect a few salvos over the bow, dear friends.

After an initial half-listen, here's a preliminary impression: Too much recap.

Tuesday, May 08, 2007

Self-serving pompous hack!

Sorry...just had to blow off a bit of steam.

Things get under my skin sometimes, too.

Friday, May 04, 2007

I want this guy's copy!

Because we obviously didn't read the same book.

The Campblog Archive - Dune Seven

(Scroll down to Wednesday, April 18, 2007. Like the Sandworms "Blog" on Dune Novels, this blog is just a series of webpages with no commenting.)

'Course, I guess he couldn't very well write "My wife gave me a piece of sh*t for VD", could he?

(That's "Valentine's Day", you reprobates.)

Here's another view I can more agree with. (Anyone who quotes Alanis can't be wrong, right?)

Thursday, May 03, 2007

Answers to answers:

After stewing over Kevin's responses for a bit longer than he took in formulating them, here are my comments (question summaries in blue, KJA answers in black, my comments in red):

On criticisms of inconsistency:

While I'll get to specifics in a moment, I have indeed heard some of the criticisms and so-called "inconsistencies" and yet most of them are clearly explained in the novels themselves upon a careful reading, or at the very least with a little bit of imagination -- and Dune fans should be well-versed in using their imaginations. I have yet to see any fan, even our harshest critics, point out a significant inconsistency. Considering the more than 8000 pages of published Dune fiction, Brian and I believe we have done a creditable job. For the few fans who continue to quibble, we appreciate your dedication and enthusiasm, and we understand why you want to hold us to the highest standards. However, there are significant errors and inconsistencies in the original Dune novels as well, and I'm certain that the careful readers have spotted plenty of them. Such things do not at all diminish *my* appreciation of Frank Herbert's literary greatness, but I wonder how such highly critical fans can stand it? Or is there a double standard at work here?

As others have already pointed out, Kevin is saying that there is not even one "significant inconsistency" in the new books, but Frank Herbert's contained "significant errors and inconsistencies". In other words, Kevin and Brian are writing more consistent books than even Frank Herbert himself!

So...if you think there is something inconsistent in the new books, you have not read carefully enough or have failed to use your imagination. Reread or start using your brain, stupid!

Nice way for an author to look at readers, ain't it?


Re no-technology:

The technology developed by the Richesian inventor Chobyn in the HOUSE books took place thousands of years before no-field technology was introduced to the reader in HERETICS. Chobyn was killed and all records of his work were destroyed, and the technology was lost. There is nothing to suggest that these two are the exactly same technologies.

Other than the name, you mean? If it was a completely different technology, why did you use the same name? And no-tech was introduced in God Emperor of Dune, by the way. Oops.

Re the Tleilaxu Masters, Kevin responded:

Just because one Tleilaxu Master is said to be old does not mean they all live to such a great age. My father-in-law is 82 years old; does that mean every human will live to 82? Frank Herbert also describes the Tleilaxu as being small-statured gnomish men, and yet Duncan Idaho (in CHAPTERHOUSE) disguises himself as a Tleilaxu man, so either Duncan suddenly shrunk, or there are some tall Tleilaxu, too. You can't take one data point and extend it to an entire race.

Notice that he doesn't answer the question, just obfuscates with irrelevancies. And what is most embarrassing for either the first or the second of the "world's biggest Dune fans" is how he totally screws up the details of his counter example. As Tleilax Master B and others have pointed out, Duncan was still young when he passed as a Tleilaxu.

Sirafa studied Duncan. "Yes, he is small enough yet. He will be disguised and conveyed separately."

"No!" Lucilla said. "I am commanded to guard him!"

"You are being foolish," Sirafa said. "They will be looking for a woman of your appearance accompanied by someone of this young man's appearance. They will not be looking for a playfem of the Honored Matres with her companion of the night...nor for a Tleilaxu Master and his entourage."

And this is from HERETICS, not CHAPTERHOUSE. But only someone without a life worries about such minor details, right?

The answers to those questions should be fairly obvious: This "planned obsolescence" comes from Kevin and Brian, not Frank Herbert's notes.


On spice-producing sandworms:

In the original books Frank Herbert quite clearly makes the distinction that the worms spawned from Leto II's body are different creatures from the original worms on Arrakis. Pointing to details in the Appendix to DUNE is comparing apples and oranges.

Another very clever but unsupportable obfuscation. Leto II says that the worms that arise after he goes back into the sand will be smarter and more dangerous. He never says anything about a change in the fundamental nature of the spice cycle.

Keep this in mind in connection with the Sandworms cover illustration and get your beach towels ready: HERE COME THE WATERWORMS!!!


Kevin chose to blow off the questions on Norma Cenva as super hero, on whether the Baron-Mohiam rape & pox-dosing scene was based on FH's notes, on the inspirations for Kailea Vernius and Mephistus Cru, and what ideas for the Butlerian Jihad as described in the Legends books came from conversations between Frank and Brian:

I'm not going to go into specific details on which ideas, or which part of an idea, came from Frank Herbert conversations, or his notes, or from me, or from Brian. In my opinion, that would only become an endless spiral. They are all DUNE books, they are all canon, and the authors are clearly listed on the cover, so readers know who typed the actual words.

"The authors are clearly listed on the cover"...OK, so it's Brian Herbert and Kevin J. Anderson that "typed the actual words." Frank Herbert's contributions to the new books have been passive at best.

The determination of what is really "canon" is a difficult issue. Surely it has to involve something more thant authoritative fiat based on copyright ownership.

And the only reason questions of this sort could lead to "an endless spiral" is because the two current authors continue to give bullshit answers like these.


On consistency checking:

Indeed, the Duniverse is very intricate and complex (8000 pages so far, as I mentioned above). Brian and I read each manuscript from 10-14 times through, and the manuscripts are also checked by four test readers, two editors (one of them an original editor of Frank Herbert's Dune novels), a PhD Dune scholar, an English professor, two copy editors, and two proofreaders, all of whom are familiar with the Dune novels. That constitutes quite a rigorous review, and far more than virtually any other published novel receives.

Obviously, though, not "rigorous" enough. Were there any objections or recommendations from this group of experts that you chose to ignore on the grounds of "artistic license"? And who is the "PhD Dune scholar", by the way? (Hopefully you're not referring to Dr. Torkos. His doctorate is in medicine, if I recall correctly.)

On "canon" in a fiction series and conflicts of interest:

Gene Roddenberry created the original STAR TREK, and he died sometime during the third season of STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION. I don't believe anyone has ever suggested that the episodes of NEXT GENERATION produced after his death, or DEEP SPACE NINE, or VOYAGER, or the last four STAR TREK films are *not canon* just because the original creator was no longer around.

Frank Herbert was always a great supporter of Brian's writing, assisting him with his solo novels (SUDANNA, SUDANNA, THE RACE FOR GOD, etc.). Frank Herbert's last published novel, MAN OF TWO WORLDS, was a collaboration with Brian, and because he enjoyed the experience of working with his son, he suggested that the two of them consider writing further DUNE novels together, "passing the torch" as it were (much as Anne McCaffrey has recently brought in her son Todd to continue writing "Pern" books). The first project they talked about doing together was to tell the story of the Butlerian Jihad. When Frank was diagnosed with a very aggressive pancreatic cancer, his time was far shorter than anyone expected. It is my understanding that he spent much of his last months finalizing the story for THE ASCENSION FACTOR with Bill Ransom. The last work he wrote was an article on writing for the Writers of the Future contest, from his hospital bed at the University Hospital in Madison, Wisconsin.

There is simply no question that Frank Herbert approved of Brian's desire to work in the Dune universe, and the ten members his literary estate also wholeheartedly support the decision. The heirs of Frank Herbert are the only ones who decide canon or what is best for the Dune legacy. There can be no "conflict of interest" with yourself.

Even our harshest detractors must admit that the publication of the new Dune novels has been an overwhelmingly good thing for Dune -- the sales of Frank Herbert's original Dune novels have increased more than 300% since the publication of HOUSE ATREIDES, bringing millions of new readers to the universe. Six of Frank's long out-of-print works have finally been rereleased (the most recent, HELLSTROM'S HIVE, just out last month). SOUL CATCHER has just been optioned by a film maker, and there is other new interest in Frank Herbert properties. None of these things were possible before the renewed prominence of the Dune chronicles.

I'm not really sure about the relevancy of the Star Trek series examples. Different medium, different situation, with very different levels of consistency between the original and sequel series. (And note the conspicuous absence of ENTERPRISE from his list; I do believe there has been some controversy over its canonicity, no?)

I'm also not convinced that "suggesting" he and Brian write "further Dune novels together" necessarily constitutes Frank Herbert "passing the torch". Or that "approving Brian's desire to work in the Dune universe" would extend to the milking of the cash cow that we're seeing. (Remember, after Sandworms comes out, it'll be eight books by B&K to six by FH, with three more books already announced and no end in sight.)

Kevin & the Prequelites love to tout the role of the new books in the increased sales and renewed popularity of Frank Herbert's original Dune and other novels in justifying what they have done and plan to keep on doing. The problem with this, as I have pointed out elsewhere, is that publishing these second-rate books is not the only way this goal could have been accomplished. It's almost as if he's saying that the end (and not the primary one, remember) justifies the means.


I've nothing to say on his other answers at the moment. This was, ultimately, an exercise in futility, but at least it proved educational in confirming some personal suspicions I have held concerning this whole situation.

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Wednesday, May 02, 2007

Should the moons look down...

on all the myriad forms of existence,
they would see each and every one
as sadness.
They say that spring has come...
but not for me.

I had to drop by the Central Post Office on the way home and took a different, unfamiliar exit from the highway, thinking it would get me downtown sooner. And ended up nearly getting lost in the BFE hinterland. The moon was nearly (or is it just past?) full tonight and was reflected in the newly flooded paddies (rice, but not pundi) on both sides of the narrow road I was on, first right, then left, and I was reminded of my favorite moon poem from the Kokinshû. That poem is unfortunately an autumn one, but I think it could be made to work as I have (rather freely) translated it above (with a bit of a Dune touch). My Classical is rusty...did to te require a special form—kakari-musubi perhaps?—or would the shushi suffice? I'll ask the Russian or the Princetonian later, but for now it's enough just to sit here on the tatami and open the curtains occasionally to look out at the moon....