Boxing Erasmus

Since yesterday was the last official day of spring vacation, I decided to spend it doing nothing but what I wanted to. And ended up playing around with Terragen and Cheetah3D most of the day. Initially, I just wanted to create a realistic looking background for the cover for the new Trannies of Dune (Volume 2...check a bookstore near you!) but ended up getting too ambitious and decided to create a model of Erasmus based on the Sony robot image I used in earlier covers. Here's what I've come up with so far:


It's not an exact recreation of the original (my modeling skills aren't that good yet!) but you get the general idea. I haven't been able to get the texture color to come out exactly right yet (it's yellow, not copper/gold like it should be); the editor can't guarantee WYSIWYG because of the use of the HDR (don't ask) file for the background & lighting. And if you look closely, you'll notice his "heart light" is bleeding through what should be solids. Oh well.

I'll post the images of the finished model if and when it's done.

(And don't worry, I'll eventually get back to Hunters!)

Reflections...

Today's a holiday in these parts (not that every day lately hasn't been like a holiday, what with it being spring break and all, but never mind!) and I have spent most of it messing around with the new version of Cheetah3D, a modelling app for the Mac. The above is a little something I created from one of the included examples, incorporating a landscape panorama created using Terragen. It could either be the little silver ball from Chapter House all grown up or...Erasmus's brain? I don't know.

Anyway, I was rather pleased with the way it turned out (Doesn't it almost look like a photograph of a real object?), so there you go. More later....

Oh yeah, this is what I'm talkin' 'bout.

I've been working on my OS X version of StarGen for most of the last day or so and am finally getting results:


Jim Burrows' original version is a command line application that outputs its results in the form of HTML files that can be viewed in a browser. I've taken advantage of Apple's WebKit features to make my own little browser window as part of the app; not really a needed feature, but it gets rid of the need to switch back and forth between apps.

I'll have to tinker with the internal model because currently the parameters for Canopus result in systems with just a few massive planets. (I'll have to check the minimum mass requirements for brown dwarves, because some of the jovians are REALLY massive.) One interesting bit though is the frequency of outer-system water planets. Because of its size and luminosity, the habitable ecozone for Canopus is much farther out than Sol's. Unfortunately, the planets I've seen summaries for thus far have all had gravities in the range of 0.35 g. I haven't finished implementing output of the individual system files yet (only output of the summary & thumbnail index page is working at the moment) so I can tell anything about the geological make-up of the planets. (A large percentage of S0₂ is desirable for making sand, eh?)

I may eventually just take the route of generating something close with four or five planets and get rid of one of them (Harmonthep?!). A hot Jupiter or two closer in with Arrakis in the outer reaches? (It has to be the third planet, after all.)

Will keep y'all in the loop!

StarGenOSX - some results

I've been working some more on the stellar system simulation program and have begun to get some results. I'm still not sure how valid they are, but with the code changed to allow for the larger mass of stars like Canopus, the program still gives results:

2007-03-17 12:32:21.725 StarGenOSX[5707] SUN MASS:  10.000000
2007-03-17 12:32:21.725 StarGenOSX[5707] SUN LUMINOSITY:  15848.931925
2007-03-17 12:32:21.733 StarGenOSX[5707] generate_planets() beginning execution...
2007-03-17 12:32:21.733 StarGenOSX[5707] Planet number:  1
2007-03-17 12:32:21.734 StarGenOSX[5707] Planet number:  2
2007-03-17 12:32:21.734 StarGenOSX[5707] Planet number:  3
2007-03-17 12:32:21.734 StarGenOSX[5707] Planet number:  4
2007-03-17 12:32:21.734 StarGenOSX[5707] Planet number:  5
2007-03-17 12:32:21.735 StarGenOSX[5707] Planet number:  6
2007-03-17 12:32:21.735 StarGenOSX[5707] Planet number:  7
2007-03-17 12:32:21.735 StarGenOSX[5707] Planet number:  8
2007-03-17 12:32:21.735 StarGenOSX[5707] generate_planets() execution complete.

(The above is just copied from the run log; naturally, the finished app will produce much more visually appealing results!)

Depending on the randomizing seed used, the system ends up with between 5 to 9 planets at present.

Will keep you informed of future developments. (If anyone's interested, that is....?!)

A pearl of great price: Hunters I.4

When this "chapter" was first released online, I read it and thought, "Hey, this book might not suck too bad after all." It was the first time I remember thinking as well that there might actually be something of Frank Herbert in Hunters.

Of course, such hopes were premature and soon dashed into as many pieces as Leto shed sandtrout in the river. Rereading it now, I see a lot more problems. Let's have at it, shall we?

The epigraph: as little more than recap, this one, again, is mostly forgettable. Its only possible claim to importance is its introduction of the idea of questioning whether the God Emperor still exists in the form of a "pearl of consciousness" (or awareness) inside each worm. Questioning Leto—from the accuracy of his vision to the success of his Golden path—is a major theme of Hunters. Note that there is no "Priestess Ardath" mentioned anywhere else in the Chronicles.

The text: I feel a little bad ripping into this one for the reason mentioned above. Sentimentality will not stop me, though. Here's a change I would have made to the very first lines of this section:

Though Dune had been roasted clean of all life, the soul of the desert planet survived aboard the no-ship.

Maybe it's just me, but that small change reads much better than what they went with. "Roasted clean of all life" has problems, but whatever, eh?

The most salient characteristic of the first half of this section is its alternation of recapituation of events in the original novels (via character recollection) with new content from the "present". The above (first paragraph) is recap, the next three current/new, then two paragraphs of recap, one new+recap mixed paragraph, new, recap, and then a large chunk of new material until mention of the "corrupt priesthood on Rakis", which starts off another recap paragraph. Cut out the repetition of things that Dune fans should already know/remember and the section is less than two pages long.

What are we expected to take away from this section? Well...how about the fact that the worms in the no-ship hold are RESTLESS? The point is made THREE times using the word itself, three more using other expressions. We are told that Sheeana is consuming large amounts of spice to rev up her prescience. (???) Mention is made of "the hunters" who pursue the no-ship, but other than the old couple whom Duncan has seen, what evidence do they have that anyone else is seeking them? They've been incommunicado in another universe for three years, no? There's a tie in through Garimi's question with that in the epigraph ("Do you think the Tyrant is really in there?") and to Sheeana's final speculation ("If Leto II was indeed inside those creatures, he must be having troubled dreams." [Since the worms are restless, get it?]). And a bit of silliness about life from the viewpoint of a sandworm ("Sheeana shook her head, knowing that the creatures' primitive memories must recall swimming through an endless sea of dunes. ... And what about the worms? she wondered. What do they truly want? ... Sheeana watched them in their restless motion, wondering how much they understood of their strange situation.") I was a little confused as to why Garimi hesitated to call the voyage of The Ithaca (snicker) an "odyssey" ("Garimi caught herself, as if on the verge of uttering a deprecatory word...") when we've already been told that the same line of thinking was involved in the christening of the ship itself. Oh well.

In conclusion, this section isn't as bad as some that are coming, but it's really rather pointless.

Watching the worms in the hold below, Sheeana and Garimi remarked on how they seemed to be able to sense Sheeana's presence.

There...a rewrite compressing the whole section into one line.

Were the editors of this book paid NOT to do their jobs?

Harriet Comes Through!

I KNEW it was just a matter of time. Checked Amazon just now and Harriet has posted some new reviews.

44 of them, to be exact.

She's now up to 13,411 books reviewed. Remember that from Sunday through most of this week she's been at 13,366~7. (Edit: 13,336 was a typo!)

That's almost 9 books a day over a five-day period.

Don't know 'bout where you're from, but in these parts we call that "Blessings of Shai Hulud".

Bullshit by any other name...

Update:

I didn't pay much attention yesterday, but she's up to 14,444 13,444 reviews now. Looks like she posted 33 more on March 10. THE WOMAN IS AMAZING!

In case you were wondering...

There are as many possible motivations for reading bad books, I suppose, as there are people. Here's one guy's perspective:

You know how sometimes you develop an obsession with a writer's work, and decide to seek out their entire oeuvre and inhale their every word, even if you don't really know what an "oeuvre" is or what it looks like? Well, I do that for masochistic reasons. I actively enjoy reading people I can't stand. When they write something particularly horrid, a wave of nausea surges through me and my pulse quickens. I am hooked on it, like a base jumper compelled to leap off chimney stacks for the adrenaline rush. Consider it a sickness.

Previous obsessions have included ... the Barefoot Doctor, who used to write for the Observer.

The latter took over my life for several months. Everything he said incensed me. He gushed a wild river of bullshit, which I swam through open-mouthed, savouring the taste. I even bought one of his books - a "guide to urban survival"; an incredible how-to manual apparently designed to help shallow, cosseted airheads become even more self-obsessed, justifying their unhinged narcissism as spiritual development.

...

I read the book from cover to cover, pausing occasionally to hurl it across the room in disgust. Even the typeface annoyed me. It was brilliant.

I'm not saying I share his motivation in my reading of the new Dune books. But then again...I'm not saying I don't. Just saying I thought his an interesting take.

(Via [insert witty title] Life Blog)

Like horrific Siamese twins: Hunters I.3

I forget who it was that first observed on the Dune Novels BBS that all the characters in Hunters seem to have lost 50 IQ points during the three years following their "escape from Chapterhouse", but the summary is accurate. Unfortunately, not even the long-dead Irulan escaped the virtual lobotomy.

The epigraph

Insipid is the best description for this (and most of the rest of the epigraphs in the book). But don't take my word for it: compare it with the other quotes from Irulan's work Collected Sayings of Muad'Dib, all of which appear in Dune. I must confess I fail to see why the main concern of the "strongest and most altruistic leader" would be his—or her, in this case, since this section is all about Murbella—legacy. (Especially when legacies can be pillaged and plundered by those who come after.)

The text

When I got my copy of Hunters and started rereading these first few sections, I had to actually go back and make sure that this section had indeed been included among the pre-release PDFs. Because I had no recollection of it at all. That's how forgettable is was (is).

Like a dragon empress surveying her subjects...

WTF? Has someone been watching cheap Chinese dramas about the last Dowager Empress of China? What a silly characterization. But we've dissed this one before, so let's move on.

Chapterhouse was the center of a most peculiar civil war. Reverend Mothers and Honored Matres came together with all the finesse of colliding spacecraft.

Or of bad writers collaborating? I mean, who else would describe the merging of the two groups as being "like horrific Siamese twins"? That would be somewhat questionable in the speech or thoughts of a character in the story (Is this Murbella thinking?), but from the narrator (=the writers) it's inexcusable.

Next comes a flashback...to something I can't find any mention of.

"Survival at the cost of destroying ourselves is no survival at all," Sheeana had said just before she and Duncan took the no-ship and flew away.

Anyone know of a passage in Chapter House Dune that this could be based on? It's followed by the clause "'Voting with their feet,' as the old saying went." This is a reminder of something Garimi said to Duncan before their departure...and therefore something that Murbella should not know of. Quite a co-inky-dinky, no, that they should both happen upon the same old idiom independently!

Odrade-in-Memory now makes an appearance, for some non-memorable chitchat. We're (hopefully needlessly) reminded that Reverend Mothers can converse with their peeps-within, and told that Murbella often does so out loud. (Cuckoo! Cuckoo!) Fortunately their exchange is interrupted by some real action (Yea!): a rebel Honored Matre is brought in for discipline. Because she has dissed Murbella, the latter has decided to make it personal.

But no...before the action can get off the ground we're treated to more internal Murbellan musings on the "trappings of office" and fashion as a factional statement in today's Chapterhouse society! "...serpent-scribed capes and scarves, and formfitting leotard bodysuits...a canary yellow leotard with a flamboyant cape of sapphire plazsilk moire." (Dayumm! Who's the clothes-closet queane?)

Here's where things got a little interesting for me. I seem to recall that this was around the time of another of Kevin's "Talifan" tirades. In which context it is possible (but valid? You decide) to take the HM prisoner, Annine, as symbolic of everyone who doesn't like the new Dune books.

"I no longer wish to hear what you have to say, [Talifan]. You have already said too much."

Th[ese people] had criticized the[ir author]ship once too often, ... railing against the merging of [the Old and New Canons]. ... [Kevin] could not allow such a provocation to pass unchallenged.

The way [the Talifan] had handled her dissatisfaction—embarrassing [Brian and Kevin] and diminishing her authority and prestige from behind a cloak of cowardly anonymity—had been unforgivable. The [Brother Coauthor] knew [these Talifans'] type well enough. No negotiation, no compromise, no appeal for understanding would ever change [their] mind[s]. The[y] defined [themselves] through [their] opposition.

A waste of human raw material....

Ok...maybe not.

We are next told why Murbella is now addressed as "Mother Commander": because she is simultaneously the legitimate successor of the Reverend Mother Superior and the Great Honored Matre.

Huh?! (Wouldn't "Great Superior" have made as much sense?)

And that while any number of people want nothing more than to see her die, all of the women have "become rather protective of her."

Double huh?!

Cue another flashback, this one to help explain how the current situation came about; something about fighting which involved playground equipment on the main Guild planet.

And then—finally!—back to the action in real time! A hint of bondage sadism, occular intimidation (also with a hint of sadist enjoyment), another reminder of basic Duniverse fundamentals and Murbella is at last ready to...talk some more.

But only a few lines. Then she stabs Annine in the throat and sits back down, ready for the next item on her agenda: more musing and chitchat with Odrade, this time without moving her lips.

Remember this for later: "Annine hadn't even made a mess on the floor."

Then, in true overblown operatic melodramatic form, the fat lady takes the stage: "the aged and enormously fat Bellonda leaned over". Any confusion over the identity of this sow (after all, wasn't she losing weight in Chapter House?!) is thus allayed: "Bell had been Odrade's foil and companion. The two had disagreed a great deal, especially about the Duncan Idaho project." (Yes, they disagreed a lot about him...but the actual blood was shed over the Duncan Donuts boxes.)

And what Wagnerian melody does Bellonda sing? Why, that haunting aria, "Die Guildmänner sind hier!" Murbella does an almost Mentat thang: "She knew what the Guild wanted. Spice. Always the same, spice."

Bellonda's chins folded together as she nodded.

This last marks the beginning of innumerable (nah, not really, just as yet uncounted) references to the obsesity of Taca Bella Bellonda.

Begin to lower stage curtain and fade to darkness. The light has gone out at the End of the Duniverse.

Alimentary, my dear

I have seen here and there—strewn across the Web like the choice morsels glistening in the grass in the park on mornings when too many pet owners have forgetten their scoopers—the opinion that Hunters of Dune is the best new Dune novel Brian Herbert and Kevin J. Anderson have written yet. I myself am not convinced of this, but would like to offer an analogy for your consideration, Dear Reader:

Due to a bout of gastroenterological distress last week, I have added a bit of fiber (in liquid form, of course) to my diet this, producing a much firmer and tighter stool...altogether a rather satisfying result compared to before. This has not, however, caused me to lose sight of the ultimate nature of what it is I am comparing.

(The attentive will have noticed that I have added a menu link to Kevin's MySpace blog mirror on the Dune Novels website.)

Have anus day!

Mordeo ergo sum

Woke up this morning with a big ole flap/patch of skin from my abdomen covering my head.

"Eeeew," said ChiggerBint, making like one of those Indian gods of Old Earth—too many appendages going in too many directions at the same time.

Yes, it's MOLTING TIME AGAIN!

A word to the wise: I'm gonna be in one helluva nasty mood for a while.

You have been warned.

Harriet Klausner Watch!

Amazon.com Reviewer Rank: 1
See all 13,366 reviews (82,686 helpful votes)

I could swear that her total number of reviews is at least 100 or so higher than it was when I checked just a day or two ago. (But I forgot to note it down, so can't say for sure. I do clearly remember that the number included a "2" as one of its digits, though.)

This woman epitomizes everything that is wrong with customer review systems like that used by Amazon.

(If you don't know who she is, google her.)

Update:

She has only done 1 new review since I posted this...maybe she's taking a break or has been under the weather? Not very impressive for a woman who by her own account reads 3 or 4 books a day and who reportedly posted over 100 reviews in a single day, is it?

But at least she's received 96 new "helpful" votes!

(Check out her reviewer profile and current stats here.)

When is a blog not a blog?

When it's a "blog" on the Dune Novels website.

Opinions differ, of course, but my definition of a real blog includes allowing people to comment on what they have read. That didn't happen on the old Hunters Blog, and it doesn't look like it will be on the new "Sandworms of Dune Blog", either. (And since no one seems able to coax Brian into the 21st Century, this one will also most likely be written almost entirely by Kevin. I don't really have anything against Kevin other than the things I've mentioned in public, but let's face it, he's not a Herbert. I'd like to hear more from Brian, you know?) There are also no RSS or Atom feeds, another blog sine qua non, IMO.

Since I can't comment there, I'll do it here:

Kevin, this time, please stay on topic: Sandworms and Duniverse-related stuff. There's nothing wrong with you publicizing your own works, but you've got your own website and your MySpace area now...shouldn't they be enough for the non-Dune stuff?

Re the dust-jacket copy for the US edition of Sandworms:

Hunters of Dune and the concluding volume, Sandworms of Dune, bring together the great story lines and beloved characters in Frank Herbert's classic Dune universe, ranging from the time of the Butlerian Jihad to the original Dune series and beyond. Based directly on Frank Herbert's final outline, which lay hidden in a safe-deposit box for a decade, these two volumes will finally answer the urgent questions Dune fans have been debating for two decades.

Um...Frank Herbert didn't write anything about any characters of the Butlerian Jihad. And no, far from answering questions, the new books have only given rise to more. But speaking of that outline, once Sandworms is published, it's of no further value, right? Why not publish it?

At the end of Frank Herbert's final novel Chapterhouse: Dune, a ship carrying a crew of refugees escapes into the uncharted galaxy, fleeing from a terrifying, mysterious Enemy. The fugitives used genetic technology to revive key figures from Dune's past -- including Paul Muad'Dib and Lady Jessica -- to strengthen their chances of survival by using their special special talents to meet the incredible challenges of the journey.

Uncharted galaxy? I thought they ended up in a "strange, unknown universe". And were the ghola babies the result of such a well-thought out plan? I got the impression it was something more like, "Oooh, null-entropy tube! Ooh, let's make gholas galore!"

Sandworms of Dune will reveal the origin of the Honored Matres, the tantalizing future of the planet Arrakis, the final revelation of the Kwisatz Haderach, and the resolution to the war between man and machine. This breathtaking new novel in Frank Herbert's Dune series has surprises and plot twists galore -- enough to please even the most demanding reader.

Um...didn't you already reveal the origin of the Honored Matres in Hunters? (Psssst! Pissed off former Tleilaxu tank ladies! Pssst! It feels like an FH idea, but the exposition leaves much to be desired! Like...was the memory block the result of hysterical amnesia born of feminist solidarity?) The future of Arrakis? Isn't it a radioactive wasteland of blasted sandglass? Gonna terraform...er, I mean, re-arreoform it? (Are there still sandplankton alive on Arrakis? As yet unsuspected and undiscovered new worms? Is that the secret treasure in Treasure in the Sand? "Obliterator" irradiated mutant worms that can survive in water?! Some connection with that beautiful but daft cover illustration?!) The Kwisatz Haderach? That means there's only ONE, right? (Thank Dur for small mercies!) The SECOND resolution of the war, you mean?

And breathtaking? Fortunately I've learned to breathe through my mouth again; frees up the one hand from having to hold my nose. (Have found no solution yet, though, for the incidents of projectile vomiting.)

I've already pre-ordered my copy on Amazon. Can't wait.

(Note: I'm in a particularly bitchy mood today. I may reconsider and come back and edit this. ... Nah.)

C.E.T. Invitation!

Kewl! I got an invitation in the mail the other day asking me to represent Arrakis at the upcoming C.E.T. on Old Earth.

That's the Congress of Extraterrestial Trombiculae, by the way.

The local Chiggers of Commerce have decided to subsidize me with a generous travel allowance. Which means

ROADTRIPS!

Anyone on Old Earth interested in getting together for a mini DuneCon or two?!

(The C.E.T. is being held in the Ohaiyah region—the neutral socio-political center of Noram—by the way.)

Null and Void: Hunters I.2

Why ask a man who is already lost to lead you? Why then are you surprised if he leads you nowhere?
—DUNCAN IDAHO, A Thousand Lives

It should have been obvious from the House and Legends books that in some essential way Brian Herbert and Kevin J. Anderson—for all their protestations of being the world's biggest fans—just don't get Dune. (If they did, they wouldn't have made the mistakes or changes they have.) But in spite of this, we addicts still flock to the bookstore like hungry little sliggies to the trough, eager to gobble up and swallow down whatever they sling at us.

Not in Kansas anymore...

Section 2 of Part I presents us with Duncan Idaho in the "navigation bridge" of the no-ship, fighting the incomprehensible new physical laws of the "strange universe" the no-ship found itself in when he dumped the navigational databases at the end of Chapter House Dune. I won't dwell overmuch on the first paragraphs of this section—mainly because they're another excellent example of how B&K have changed things and because the writing is just really bad; case in point, the sentences leading up to this gem: "How could they encounter turbulence in space when nothing was there?" Well, obviously they couldn't. Stupid, simply stupid. As for the changes, note that the "new universe" as described in Hunters bears little resemblance to the one described in Chapter House:

Sheeana did not look up when he found her at the temporary flight-control board in the guard quarters. She was bent over the board, staring at it in consternation. The projection above her showed they had emerged from foldspace. Idaho recognized none of the visible star patterns but he had expected that. (Chapter House)

Now he studied external images transmitted from sensors extended beyond the no-field. The view outside had not changed: twisted veils of nebula gas, inside-out streamers that would never condense into stars. Was this a young universe, not yet finished coalescing, or a universe so unspeakably ancient that all suns had burned out and been reduced to molecular ash? (Hunters)

There's a big difference between visible but unfamiliar star patters and twisty clouds of gas.

We're then forced to wade through another recap of Chapter House as Duncan muses on the events that led to their current predicament. There is some new information squirreled away here, though. We're told that a year after the departure from Chapterhouse, the hapless "crew" of the no-ship had decided to christen it the "Ithaca", invoking the memory of Odysseus and his endless wanderings.

I've already posted over at the DN BBS about how contrived (and downright silly) this choice of names is. Ithaca was Odysseus' island home and eventual destination, not his ship. But never mind that little twist or the fact that only the Bene Gesserit on board would be likely to remember the details of The Odyssey or even its name. In a day and age when the public will buy orcs and mutants fighting for the Persians against the stalwart Greeks at Thermopylae, who cares about such triffles? Ah, well. You also have to wonder about the general attitude of a group of people who chose to invoke the imagery of a never-ending odyssey; weren't they being just a bit pessimistic, only a year into their journey? You'd almost think they could see the hundreds of pages remaining in the reader's right hand.

We are also introduced here to Duncan's insipid pining over his lost Murbella. Even though at the end of Chapter House he decides to escape on the no-ship because he realizes that what they had had between them is over now that Murbella has become leader of the Bene Gesserit. Fortunately his reminiscences ("the seawater scent of their 'sexual collisions'"...now isn't that a phrase that just sticks in your nose?) are cut mercifully short by the sudden appearance of the one character who more than any other relegates this piece-of-shite book to the anals [sic] of pure (and bad) fanfic:

Duncan Idaho, a voice called, soothing and feminine. ... The voice tried to intercede. Duncan Idaho, do not flee. I am not your enemy. ... I am the Oracle of Time.

I'm sorry? The Whosit of What?

In several of his lives, Duncan had heard of the Oracle-the guiding force of the Spacing Guild. Benevolent and all-seeing, the Oracle of Time was said to be a shepherding presence that had watched over the Guild since its formation fifteen thousand years ago. Duncan had always considered it an odd manifestation of religion among the hyperacute Navigators.

Well, Duncan certainly got that last bit right. In "Appendix II: The Religion of Dune" in Dune, Frank Herbert himself told us

Any comparison of the religious beliefs dominant in the Imperium up to the time of Muad'Dib must start with the major forces which shaped those beliefs:
...
3. The agnostic ruling class (including the Guild) for whom religion was a kind of puppet show to amuse the populace and keep it docile, and who believed essentially that all phenomena—even religious phenomena—could be reduced to mechanical explanations;

An odd manifestation indeed. And the first mention ever of this entity or anything like it...if you exclude the references to the "Oracle of Infinity" mentioned in the House books.

Although the full revelation of who this character really is does not come for several hundred steaming pages, it should be fairly obvious to anyone who has read the Legends Brian and Kevin did not create a super-being there—greater than Paul Muad'Dib Atreides or his son The God Emperor—just to forget and write her out of the stories. No, she's back and she's wack.

I remember reading this section as one of the pre-release online samples. My reaction then still serves as valid evaluation now:

WTF?!


As Bad As It Gets

Now let's just bash the writing some, how about?

"They were adrift," we're told in the first line, but then later when the no-ship hits a "rough patch" (see above), Duncan switches off the auto-pilot. If the ship was under auto-pilot steerage, then it wasn't adrift, was it?

"Threats within threats within threats." Clichés within clichés within clichés.

"According to the bridge's independent chronometers, ...." Independent of what? Logic? Reason?

"The laws of physics and the landscape of the galaxy might be completely altered here." No shit? What galaxy? Can't have a galaxy without stars, boys. Stupid. And if the laws of physics have been "completely altered", how does the no-ship continue to maintain its integrity and function? Does the no-field make it some sort of independent(!) little bubble of reality of its own? That's a new twist, too, no?

"Barely perceptible flashes of orange light appeared in front of the vessel, like a faint, flickering fire." Ooh, St Chenoeh's Fire, perhaps?!

"He felt the deck shudder, as if he had rammed into some obstacle, but he could see nothing. Nothing at all! It should have been an empty vacuum, giving them no sensation of movement or turbulence. Strange universe." Nothing at all! Except whisps and tendrils of gas. Thank Dur for inertial dampeners, eh? Strange universe. Bad science writing.

"The Outside Enemy observers, in their bizarrely innocuous guises of an old man and an old woman...." Subtle, isn't it, how they equate the old couple with the Enemy and let us know in advance that their appearances were just "(dis)guises". You can't be too early in setting up a major revision, after all.

"...four animalistic Futars—monstrous human—feline hybrids created out in the Scattering and enslaved by the whores." The Futars were enslaved by the Honored Matres? I thought the Futars preyed upon them. Oh well.

"The pain was at least as sharp and unendurable as the debilitating agony of drug withdrawal." Personal experience talking here? Let's hope not.

"Duncan's shattered heart had been, and still was, merely collateral damage." Wannabe authors take note: how to date your work!

"The no-ship continued to run." I'm not sure what it is about this one that bothers me; "run" perhaps. Anyway, it's a trite ending to an otherwise non-memorable section. Blah. (But fitting in a way, I suppose.)

Addendum:

Some things that got left out:

"The no-ship wandered the frigid void, far from any recorded human exploration." Yes...it's a different, unknown universe, right? So it only stands to reason that they would not know if any human had ever been there before. Unnecessary.

About those "independent chronometers" again: First, why more than one? Also, regardless of how time flows in this new universe, the chronometers will register that flow and the passenger/inhabitants of the ship will experience that flow as normal. There is no way for them to determine any difference.

"His fingers a blur, his concentration sharp as a diamond chip...," the prose as forced as any cross-wise turd.

Stinky.

Like angry mice racing to do battle with Salusan butts

Say what?!

It's amazing the errors I still find in my scan files.

This one took me rather aback...but then again, given some of the commentary over on the DN BBS lately....

I trust I don't have to tell you what it should be.

(Lemmiwinks? Here boy! ... Huh...where can he have gotten to now?)